It’s never easy going to a divorce court, especially when it comes to finances and other complications. Written from firsthand experience, Phyllida Wilson and Maxine Pillinger have come up with a string of divorce advice for women, to empower women, inform them and support them in every way throughout the law proceedings. Need a helpful divorce guide? Then look no further…
1) The Unknown
Divorce can be an extremely difficult, overwhelming experience that can seem like a complete whirlwind – especially if you think back to how things once were between you and your partner. This whole concept of not knowing what to expect, or what will happen next is completely natural. Try to hold onto the concept that you’re not the first person to go through this and you certainly won’t be the last.
REMEMBER: Divorce doesn’t need to be a lonely journey. There is a strong chance some friends or family are going through, or have been through a divorce, so they can help and support you.
2) How Your Child Will React
Knowing what and what not to say to your children can be stressful and you will have a lot of fears about how they will react. Breaking up a home they know and love will most definitely have an enormous impact on them.
REMEMBER: Be prepared in what you are going to say and treat the subject with sensitivity. Do this and it will not leave any long-term damage on the majority of children.
3) Managing Communication
There will be times when you will need to speak to somebody about how you feel and what you are going through, share your fear and ask for advice. Choose the right person to do this with and the right time. REMEMBER: Try not to over share. At the beginning of a divorce, you may be the talk of the office and your stories could be twisted. Whoever you are telling may think you are embellishing what has happened and in some cases, use as evidence in court.
4) Your Work Life
There will be no work/life balance when going through a divorce, as you will need to work all the hours under the sun to support you and your family financially. This can seem exhausting, overwhelming and unachievable.
REMEMBER: Broaden your options. Is it possible to increase your child care hours? How about sending the children to an after school club? Be aware that if one of your children is sent home from work ill, you won’t have a ‘back up’ available, so you need to be prepared for anything.
5) Keep calm at all times
During the ‘Contact and Resistance’ process of the divorce proceedings, there will be someone else who is making the very important decision as to when you can see your own children. It is easy to get caught up emotionally and show some irrational behaviour.
REMEMBER: Be extra diligent, honest and aware of how you’re acting. Your children are the most important factor through all of this, so always have their best interests at heart.
For more tips and advice, read: A Woman’s Guide to Divorce: How to take control of the whole process, including finances, children and the emotional journey (Robinson) by Phyllida Wilson and Maxine Pillinger
by Phyllida Wilson
by Maxine Pillinger
This book will inform and empower women who have decided to divorce, or are deciding whether to do so.
It will give them the `heads up` on what to expect, and the confidence to manage and control the formidable process; from the first meeting with a solicitor to the financial implications, the court processes, communication with the `ex`, and managing children, family and friends.
It offers guidance on living arrangements and emotional aspects, and on the characteristics of `extreme` divorces including violence, harassment, custody battles, non-compliance and aggressive financial deprivation.