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Jenny Smedley on finding your soul mate

Soul mates

Jenny Smedley discusses Soul Mates and talks about why she decided to tackle this tricky topic . . .

During my ten years writing psychic help columns around the world, one question has been asked above all others, and that is: ‘How can I find my soul mate?’


It seems that the human condition of happiness often comes down to having someone to trust, someone who’s always on your side, and most importantly, someone to share everything, good or bad with. We fear being alone more than anything else.


I’ve always tried to give people answers to help them, but this is a complex subject and there is no simple fix-all answer that will fit into the imposed word count of a magazine column. So, I came up with a solution – write a book about it. Luckily Piatkus felt the same way as I did, and Soul Mates was born.


The complications of exploring this topic were many, and this is certainly the most difficult book I’ve written so far, but I do like a challenge. The most difficult thing of all was to try and convey to readers that there are many kinds of soul mates, and that the perception that we only have one in our whole lives is wrong.


Some people find this hard to accept, but hopefully it becomes easier when you understand that there are at least four kinds of human soul mate and each plays a different role in your life.



Your Eternal Flame soul mate is the stuff that fairy-tales are made of. They are your   ‘happy-ever-after’ partner, the person who completes your life and seems to be the missing half of your soul. If everyone found one of these in their late teens everything would be so much easier, but our souls come to Earth to be challenged, so it isn’t meant to be easy.


This type of soul mate can be very confusing. You’ll feel a strong attraction to a Twin soul mate for sure, but they won’t feel as earth-shatteringly perfect as Eternal Flames. Part of this confusion comes from the fact that your souls are the mirror image of each other so the two of you will be very alike in many ways. The good thing about this type of soul mate is that you are very closely connected at soul level so a Twin Soul Mate can make a great partner, however it will also mean that if you both enjoy a good row, that’s pretty much all you’ll do!


Teacher soul mates will sometimes come into your life on a temporary basis to help you to learn some valuable, but not always pleasant lesson. Once the lesson has been given, this person will sometimes vanish as mysteriously as they appeared, and this can cause upset and confusion.


Comforter soul mates can provide companionship when you’re feeling alone, or need some advice. When they appear they may leave your life quickly, but equally as often they stay as lifelong friends. Comforter soul mates are often the opposite gender, and yet there will be no sexual chemistry between you.


Having so many people in your life with whom you feel a soul connection can be confusing, however once you begin to understand the meaning behind their presence in your life you will learn to be happier in these relationships. For example, when you meet someone and feel an attraction, you will realise quickly whether the connection you’re feeling is eternal love (i.e. the person is an Eternal Flame soul mate) or a deep feeling of comfort, of security and of nostalgia, because they are a Comforter soul mate.


So, this is why I needed to write this book, to point people in the right direction to find their one true Eternal Flame, because these are the soul mates we really do only ever have one of, in all eternity.


Jenny Smedley is a past life therapist, bestselling author, angel consultant and the UK’s leading expert in the subject of past lives.